The cleavage issue
A comment on a post by Bunny Jo got me thinking...
True enough some women use their appearance to get what they want.
True enough some guys always give in at least a bit whenwe they see an attractive woman.
Also true that most people criticize such an attitude.
Now lets look at it all.
Who has never dressed up to impress someone, for a job interview, on a date, High School reunion, company party, whatever?!
Get your hair done for a party is ok?!
Getting new clothes for a specific event?!
Well, then if all that is ok, why shouldn't it be ok for someone with a nice body or a pretty face (or hopefully both) to use those attributes as self promotion?!
And if a person can use those attributes on a special occasion, why not in everyday life?
This doesn't mean a candidate to a job should be selected on a symmetry/balance/cup size basis. Nor is this post my approval on what is called 'an horizontal career' in my country...
But at the same time tagging someone as shallow or even as something worst because that someone isn't 'modest' enough seems kind of cynical.
Like when someone commented on Good Half looking better than the bride at a wedding, although that same person was wearing a new dress, make-up, new air-do, etc...
My point is: most of the time when people criticize if they see some cleavage, a shorter skirt or any such thing they do it only because the person they are criticizing actually has a better figure or at least is looking nicer at that moment...
The real problem is not some cleavage showing, is ENVY.
True enough some women use their appearance to get what they want.
True enough some guys always give in at least a bit when
Also true that most people criticize such an attitude.
Now lets look at it all.
Who has never dressed up to impress someone, for a job interview, on a date, High School reunion, company party, whatever?!
Get your hair done for a party is ok?!
Getting new clothes for a specific event?!
Well, then if all that is ok, why shouldn't it be ok for someone with a nice body or a pretty face (or hopefully both) to use those attributes as self promotion?!
And if a person can use those attributes on a special occasion, why not in everyday life?
This doesn't mean a candidate to a job should be selected on a symmetry/balance/cup size basis. Nor is this post my approval on what is called 'an horizontal career' in my country...
But at the same time tagging someone as shallow or even as something worst because that someone isn't 'modest' enough seems kind of cynical.
Like when someone commented on Good Half looking better than the bride at a wedding, although that same person was wearing a new dress, make-up, new air-do, etc...
My point is: most of the time when people criticize if they see some cleavage, a shorter skirt or any such thing they do it only because the person they are criticizing actually has a better figure or at least is looking nicer at that moment...
The real problem is not some cleavage showing, is ENVY.
posted by DCveR at 6:02 PM
15 Comments:
A great post, I await with glee the berating you will get, but I agree!
Well, if a company wants to employ people based solely on appearances...and not brain...it's the company's money.
Actually some jobs really do require only appearance...I worked in a ad agency, writing, and we had to look at beautiful men and women to choose for ads.
two comments:
1. Appearance - natural or contrived - IS an asset. It's similar to one going to a prestigious university, or joining a club in the hopes of getting a 'leg up'. It's all subjective, however, so that short skirt or low neckline is only leveraging advantage IF it's being received favorably. As a woman working in a male-dominated profession, I know that for a fact. If I tried to play the 'cute girl' card with my contractors, I'd be laughed off the jobsite. Worse still, I'd be disrespected.
2. your photo of the week is from MY HOMETOWN!!!! who knew???
Gordy: thank you for the support
GG: Indeed you are right, but doing the opposite and rejecting someone assuming the good looks mean no brain is just as bad
tall glass: If it weren't for my 'no pics of ourselves' policy I would post also our photos playing the big gong across the bridge, but our wish was so obvious I can reveal it: to be able to get back there some day.
The feeling of peace was even more intense because we got to the temple after snorkeling in Hanauma Bay.
Regarding the topic, a friend of mine works in the construction business and she says the same you do, 'its like walking on a razor blade', she adds.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't used appearance on more than one occasion as a little added ammunition toward getting a job or whatever. No matter what your assets though, a well-coiffed appearance also telegraphs confidence, and that can open doors all over.
I agree. My ex is thin and has long legs and large breasts. She was sent home one time because some woman complained that her manner of dress was unprofessional. She is a very tasteful dresser but was wearing shorts this particular day(which was not uncommon at her work place). She told her boss, "I can't help it that I have long legs and large breasts. That doesn't make my style inappropriate."
ooohhh waaaw- your Good Half showed up the BRIDE at her own wedding!!?? waaaaw that's a no-no-
but that's great! haha poor bride-
i agree- envy is the problem--
kris: No matter what woman always are expected to look good, whatever looking good is.
Robert: Welcome and tks for the input. Your wife's example is exactly the kind of thing I meant.
ale: But she wasn't even flashy, a very sober dress, you couldn't even be sure if she was wearing any make-up, doing nothing to stand out. And the funniest bit - the bride loves Good Half and was not the source of the comments.
Agreed. But then this was a hypocritic world always. Envy, is the word.
I don't know how many women would admit this...that there are women who would do their utmost to sabotage another woman. Out of sheer envy.
What happened to Robert's wife reminds me of what happened to a nurse friend of mine...the matron told her that she needed to wear a looser uniform. My friend's uniform was not even tight.
I seem to agree with you on many issues. This is no different. My friends left a hefty tip for a waitress the other day just because she was cute. The service was good, but I'm sure they didn't have good service in mind when it came time to pay.
On the other hand, of course, you have to know the difference between dressing "classy" and dressing "skenky." Sometimes it is a fine line. I think women should have some allure and glamour so that all isn't just "hanging out." Use whatever asssets you have by dressing to fit the occasion. So says I. :)
anoop: But even if we can't change it we can at least be against the hypocrisy. :)
GG: And she was better looking than the person who complained, right?
bent: That is one of the reasons waitresses in the US tend to have slightly provoking outfits. And it seems it works. But whatever your friends had in mind, I don't think giving a girl money is the best way to impress her...
kris: Indeed a thin line. For us on the other hand its quite easy to dress according to most occasions without having to give it much thought.
Men's fashion that is normally associated with classy typically shows no large amount of skin i.e. suit, jeans and nice shirt, etc. However, classy for women would show leg and cleavage, consider "the little black dress" for example.
Admittedly, what makes a woman beautiful is typically her body and what makes a man attractive is his decoration. Like reed warblers.
I agree envy is probably the reason something is said most of the time but other times it may truly be inappropriate.
Cleavage is an exploitation of the male's perpencity to assess value visually. I don't agree that's the best way to make an impression. But to each their own.
Misty: Welcome and thanks for the input.
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